Thursday, August 16, 2012

Diagnosis Anniversary

After being finally being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2006, one of my assignments from my Rheumatologist was to write daily to help keep my sanity.  With the upcoming anniversary of my diagnosis, I took a look back at the different ways I have kept this journal.

Most of my entries have never been posted.  Some are scribbled on pieces of junk mail, some are posts that sit as drafts on here, and some are one or two words that my granny would give me a lecture for putting out there. 

There are also days like today where there is no entry.  I guess this counts as an entry but it's more like my anti-entry.  You can tell when I am in the worst pain, the worst mood and at the end of my RA rope because there are no entries.  Today was almost one of those days.

My biggest problem on the days that are the worst is that no matter what I write, I don't want to sound complain.  There are days when the pain is too much and while those may be the days that I need to do the entry the most, as those with chronic illnesses may know, those seem to be the days that people want to hear about it the least.  These are the types of days where I get told that I complain too much about my RA.  As I look over the years of entries I realized that not only do I stop talking about my RA on these types of days I no longer even bother to do an entry.

I don't do my entries to make anyone else feel bad.  I know that there are those that are further along in the disease and are much worse.  I write the entry to help try to keep my sanity.  It doesn't always work but since I seem to need keep my sanity more lately, I am going to try to most much more. 

If you are in the group that feel I complain far too much about my RA, please remember the main purpose of this blog is to talk about RA.

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