I don't care if it's Valentine's Day tomorrow, I am done with Arthur. He is all encompassing and annoying. He tries to keep my down and keeps me from spending time with people. He is painful and distancing. He doesn't listen and there is no room for negotiations with him. It is the way he wants it when he wants it and that's the end of it. I am done with Arthur but can't break free of him!
In case I haven't mentioned it to you (or you don't have your own name for him), Arthur is what I call my Rheumatoid Arthritis. It is much easier to be upset with a person than a condition so I began calling my RA Arthur shortly after final diagnosis in 2006.
I realize that I can't really break up with him as much as I would like to, but if you know anything about Rheumatoid Arthritis you know that Arthur has all the qualities of a bad relationship. Unfortunately, it's a toxic relationship that you just can't get rid of.
Arthur has been in tantrums (flares) for the past month. Every time his tantrums seem to be getting better, he says "Ha ha, I tricked you" and the tantrums get worse instead. He makes it hard to move without feeling like you are trying to move a mountain instead of your body. Sometimes it's joints he makes hurt more, sometimes it's breathing or headaches. Whatever he does, Arthur tries to make my life miserable to make sure I know he thinks he's in charge.
Today, Arthur is winning...
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